your new assignment: create a family manifesto

man-i-fes-to

noun

a written statement declaring publicly
the intentions, motives, or views of its issuer

yes.

big word.

manifesto.

every family needs one...or two.

heck,

we have three.

here is the scenerio,

ever have a kid crumble in your arms as soon as

they walk through the doors after a tough day at school?

how about when your teenage daughter

shares details of a drama filled day at school...

and you have to send her back on that bus

the very next day.

this is when you put your big ears on,

listen intently to every word

and simply state

your family manifesto,

your motto,

your mantra.

this will be the sentence you repeat time after time,

defining your family strategy of handling life.

this is the same sentence your child will run off to you

the day you need to hear it most.

it begins to take on a life of it's own.

speaking of,

tell me YOUR family manifesto?

the one phriase that can lift you when down?

exalt you as you celebrate?

define your character when questioning?

calm you when scared?

this, my dear friends,

is your new assignment.

print it, post it on the fridge,

hang it on your wall.

say it out loud and often.

whatever it is.

declare this as yours.

ours?

well, like i said,

we've got three floating around,

depending on the situation.

#1

nothing is bigger than us

(no matter what comes our way in life,

we are stronger and bigger than any 

problem or bump in the road)

#2

remain calm

(don't panic.  take a deep breath

and think about what lies in front of you.

you can do this)

#3

we are strong but not perfect

(our family is the foundation:

strong and mighty,

and perfectly imperfect.

let us not ever forget that.

in fact, no earthly creature is)

we repeat these when trouble comes our way,

when we celebrate,

and when we question our path

(that and a lot of prayer).

we have uttered these in good times and in bad.

they are our comfort,

words that ground us and remind us of what we are made of,

where we come from and where we've been.

that sums up our 

family manifesto, folks.

now tell me yours...

or go out and declare yours.

either way,

i'd love to hear about it.

see what happens when you say the "b" word...

it was the day after

hurricane irene 

made her big arrival.

the hoopla was over.

clean up was underway...

still a down day in the brookes abode,

as irene was making her way further up the east coast.

lo and behold,

a small gaggle of children where hanging around,

mulling about, whatever you want to call it.

then they said it.

they did.

they said the word.

"we are bored"

bored, i asked.

oh no they didn't...

this is when i went into full on 

used-to-be-a-teacher, now-stay-at-home-mom mode.

oh, really, i said.

okay divide into two teams,

get bike helmets on

and give me five minutes.

had two high schoolers upstairs crafting,

so i knew i had a sounding board.

operation scavenger hunt was

officially under way.

living in a gated golf community i knew

i had plenty of options.

here were the guidelines:

two teams of two.

on bikes.

no time limit.

i do think jack 

(the token boy of the group)

didn't know what hit him.

did i mention, jack was not used to speeding

on bicycles chasing down mundane objects,

on random fairways, 

after a storm

only to return sweaty, and hot

leaving him tired and spent?

here was the list

of items the high schoolers and i came up with.

sent them on their way with

one ziplock baggie,

one pencil

one post it note pad and 

one empty target plastic baggie.

away they went.

not only did we get a winner within 30 minutes,

but there was no further mention of boredom.

in fact, 

saw jack the next day to which he confessed

that he slept 12 hours that night thanks

to our little nieighborhood scavenger hunt.

i dare you to say you are bored again.

this mom's got lots up her sleeve.

how do you beat boredom in your hood?

8 weeks in fayetteville

we've been here in 

fayetteville

just shy of 8 week.  

now i understand it's no

washington dc

or 

my beloved san diego.

but here is my 

top 5 

reasons why

my little fayettie is carving out

 quite the place in my heart.

1.  when i take my daily morning

jaunt around the hood

at o'dark thirty in the morn.

each and every single driver who passes me

also gives me a morning wave.

can you say southern hospitality?

love a morning waver...

love.

2.  the brand spanking new library

just down the street.

oh how i love thee

and your brand new smell

3.  the lovely

fresh

organic

produce stand 

on the way to the library.

who doesn't love locally grown produce?

not to mention

paying it forward 

to a local homegrown business.

3.  my little fayettie is

teaching the heathen west coast family

some old fashioned manners.

my girls are quickly learning that 

a good old fashioned

"yes, ma'am" 

and 

"yes, sir"

is a good thing around here.

even momma is learning.

4.  we live in the absolute best

"stomp-the-sewer" 

neighborhood of all time.

plenty of:

kids

cul de sacs

unfenced back yards
with just enough humidity to make

it some good 

sweaty fun.

gates four

kids unite!

5.  my front porch 

and 

back deck

 

perfect to

reflect on how lucky i am

to have been given this opportunity.

after completing this little list,

i realize the things that fill me

are the simplest things

in life:

a welcoming, warm environmnet,

a good book,

fresh food,

the sounds of my kids enjoying the moment

and a spot to enjoy it all.

God is good.

wardrobe wednesday: mother of the year morning

ever have one of those mornings?

mother of the year mornings?
ya.
those.

that was the sentiment
in the brookes abode.

stinks.

the day i took this photo was
a good morning.

today?
not so much.

just feeling cruddy.
but these things happen.

especially when you are single-momming it,
with three teenage estrogen fueled girls.

so here is my
wardrobe wednesday.

now i will promptly
start picking myself back up and move on with my day.

tip of the day:
note the positive,
don't beat yourself up,
and unwavering discipline is a good thing
(even when your little girl head off to school in tears)

did i mention i tried to touch up my roots with
clairol dark brown?
when did dark brown equal black?
yes black.

just call me morticia.

oh, let me add that homer snatched food
off the counter for the
kazillionth time.

again,
not a stellar morning over here.

please tell me a story or two about
a morning not so great in your neck of the woods.

need to hear these things.

Navy Life and Your Circle of Friends

One thing I know for sure

the Navy Life
is not always
an easy road.

Sometimes it can be tough
leaving your network of life behind
starting over:

new friends,
new social structure,
new activities,
blah blah blah.

It ain't always easy
being the new gal.

One thing I have found to
be solid and true
revolves around your

Circle Of Friends.

Ladies, this is where your wealth lies.

I feel like the richest gal in the world.

It is my friends
that ground me,
talk me off ledge after ledge,
humble me,
carry me,
support me,
are there for me.

I look to them.
I confide in them.
I revere them.
I value them.
They are worth more to me
then any amount of money or possession.

I will protect them with my last breath.

I know my friends
keep me healthy.
They keep things real.
They put things in perspective.
They tell it like it is.
They put me in my place
(in a good way).

Each duty station our family has lived,
I have been lucky enough to make at least one
great connection.
Those connections don't go away.
Regardless of miles or years,
they become part of my circle.
No one keeps track and we pick up
right where we left off.

Those are the best.

I can only hope that I have given
a fraction of what the amazing ladies
in my circle have given to me
over the years in
friendship and support.

Women are powerful.
But even more powerful in numbers.
Surround yourself with amazing women.
Their gifts are limitless.

Build your circle.
Protect your circle.
Rely on your circle.

I know I have.

Tell me about
your circle...

Best Part of the Day

Okay,

back to
project teenager

Here is another
Team Brookes
Strategy
we use to combat
teenage-itis


Best Part of the Day

This is a little ditty
we started many
dinners ago.

When the girls go through the
ups and downs of,
let's see,
being girls.

We gather together as a family
at our beloved
dinner table.

We go around the table,
starting with the coveted
Daughter of the Week
(See how this system works, here)

We ask the simple question:

"What was your best part of the day?"

DOW gets first dibs to share
and everyone's attention.

She is the first to take the floor.

We listen.
Comment.
Laugh.
Relate.

Team Brookes in the making.

NO MATTER HOW BAD ANYONE'S DAY IS...
EVERYONE CAN THINK OF A BEST PART.

(This is mom's way of secretly trying to
highlight the positive...
while letting mom and dad get a sneak peek
into the girls day)

This is something
we do nightly
at dinner
together.

We started this when the girls were
itty.

You should, too.
It's a good habit that the kids are used to,
so when they hit teen-dome,
they won't balk at mom's corny idea.

I know.
It's dorky.
But we are dorky.

Who couldn't use a little feel good
chit chat with the fam?

Gotta keep connected as they
grow older,
and more fiesty.

How do YOU stay connected with your kids
in the crazy world we live in?

Would love to know.

Teenagers

I guess there is a reason

people let out huge sighs when
referring to their teenagers.

The Brookes fam
now have three of them.

14
13
13

Team Estrogen
in full effect.

Can you say
Roller Coaster?

I'm definitely smart enough to
realize that there are plenty
of families out there
who have done this before me.

And made it through
to tell the tale.

Yes.
I'm talking to YOU.

Looking for tips,
strategies,
cool stories
or just stories
to help the masses
(like me)
gain knowledge
and expertise
during this really fun stage
of parenting.

Start dishing...

So far I know
this to be true about my
three teenagers:

1. They like to be told
you are proud of them.

2. They like when mom and dad
think they are responsible
and put them
in positions to show this off.

3. They like
firm, safe boundaries
(even though they act like they don't)

4. They are still little kids inside growing bodies.

I know I've got good girls.
Just want to keep it that way
and do this right.

A book I picked up
that I'm learning good stuff from is:

Five Love Languages of Teenagers
Gary Chapman

Look for another post
clarifying all the good stuff
I learned from this book.
Stay tuned...

Please press my comment button
to lend your thoughts,
share your experience
or just chime in.

The best resource out there are peeps like YOU.

Day Date with the Hubs

This is for all

you married folk out there...
or soon to married...

Today I'm posting about

good habits in marriage.

One thing I know for sure,
after almost 19 years behind us.
Going on dates with the hubs,
is a good thing.

No matter how long you've been married:
newlyweds or veterans.

Consistent dating is good.

On a date
pre-marriage
circa:1992

That's right.

Date your man, peeps.

If he doesn't plan them,
Don't be offended.
YOU plan them.
Or just show up with a bag of food
during his lunch break.
Voila.
Day date.

It doesn't have to be elaborate
or expensive.

Just make it part of your weekly routine.
(Okay, how about every other week)

Look at it as a parenting plan:
What? You ask.

Teach your kids that dating daddy is the priorty.
That's right...

Attention to your marriage first.
Then to your kids...
Your family life
all stems from the marriage you have.

Hey.
Someday the kids will fly the coop.
It will just be you and the hubs.
We better like our guys.
Dating is good for that.

Keep it in check.

Hubs and I love our day dates.
We have them often.

They also tend to be less expensive,
and works better with the multitude of
soccer and track practice taxi duties.

More dating...

I can even remember meeting Mr. Man for lunch
a million years ago when the kids were
little itty bitty.
Thats right,
3 kids under the age of 3.
We all met him at work with our brown bag lunch
from our fave sandwich shop.

We set up camp, picnic style
in the parking lot,
yes,
the parking lot.
It was actually a little grassy median
off to the side of the parking lot,
under a tree.
Very quaint.


Over the years, more dating

It keeps a marriage strong.

That's my tip of the day:
Date your man!

My guy and I have a day date today.
Whew hew.

Tweens, Teens and Screens

Went to a recent PTA meeting at the middle school. Little did I realize
I would be turning that meeting into a blog post.

The meeting talked to parents about the ever changing land of technology
and the role our kids (and us) play in that land.

Kids primary way of connecting is through technology.

Here are some statistics:

84% have internet access at home
66% have a cell phone
70% have a TV in their bedroom
29% Have a laptop


Kids between the age of 8-18 years of age spend up to
53 hours a week in
front of some type of screen
(computer, cell phone, tv, hand held game, game console, ipad)

That's as much as 7 hours a day...
add texting and it's as much as 10 hours a day


I thought I'd share the nuggets I personally got out of the meeting:

1. As parents, it's better to provide guidelines, limits and consequences
rather than lay down the hammer with rules regarding technology.
In fact, having a family meeting and deciding together is the most effective
way of ensuring all will actually follow those guidelines.

2. Kids NEED direction and limits up front...despite what you may think,
parents remain the greatest influence in your teen's life...
use that influence in a positive way.

3. Make sure your computer is centrally located and not behind walls or doors,
especially in bedrooms.

4. When it comes to your kids having a social network account,
make sure you are a FRIEND of your kids and you know their password.

5. Warn your kids of posting personal information online
(phone numbers and addresses)


6. When the appropriate age, NOT letting your teen have a FB account
could have a negative effect socially.
Technology isn't going anywhere. Walk into the light...

7. Be proud of turning off electronics during dinner
and perhaps even 30 minutes before bedtime.

8. Inform your kids to "expect" any parent to read what they are writing on Facebook.

9. Don't accept a "friend" you do not personally know.
Define the word know and friend.

10. Be knowledgeable and conservative with privacy settings.

11. Create a family SOS text for your teenager when they need help.
"I lost my contact" means come get me...no questions asked.
Respect that.

12. Continually educate yourself with the technology your kids use:
visit their favorite websites regularly.


Navigating through the world of technology can be a very scary thing,
even for adults.

It's our job to walk our teenagers through this uncharted territory
with character, caution and good decision.

Here are some additional resources available to help:
Web Filters
http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/
Websites
CommonsenseMedia.org
(Check game and movie ratings for age appropriate media)
NetSmartz.org
National Center for Missing & Exploited children
http://www.safekids.com/
Online Safety & civility
getNetWise.org
http://robinraskin.com/
raising digital kids
http://www.whattheyplay.com/
family guide to video games

Publications
Cyber Bullying: Bullying in the Digital Age
The Plug-In Drug
Negotiation Generation

This is serious stuff.
I got a lot out of that meeting.
Came home, sat down with my girls and
discussed much of what is in this blog post.

Hopefully we all think of these things as we watch our kids spend
hours in front of monitors and screens.

Let me know if you have further tips on
how you monitor technology in your home
and if you have found this post useful.

As always, thanks for visiting.

Sync It

How do you organize your family events?

Call me slow on the uptake but I just discovered
the greatest tool since DVR.

GOOGLE CALENDAR


This little guy allows you to coordinate multiple events,
various family members and many team sports.

I'm telling you...this is great.

I have a new position on my daughters travel soccer team
which has opened up great opportunities
for me with regards to
my once meticulous
organizational skills.

I had to pull out the big guns with this bad boy.

If you don't have a solid, working calendar to organize your busy life,
please let me recommend you look into Google Calendar.

I'm even able to sync my calendar to all the parents on the team, as well as
send reminders to the players...not to mention my own children.
And we can't forget syncing to our iphones...

Check it out!

As always, thanks for visiting.
Oh, but before you go, tell me how you keep it all together?

What Fills You Up?

You know the days.

You feel GREAT, full, peaceful and joyous.
You feel good about your life.
You feel good about the things in your life.
You feel good about you.

Today's blog post is about how women get filled up
and left with that feeling of pure contentment.

I did a post a while back on Aunt Gertrude's
inheritance and what you would choose to buy with it...

We all know material items only get us so far in the
"what fills you up" department.
Yes, nice things are nice to have, but do they really
give us peace and ultimate contentment?

One of my loyal followers requested I do a blog post
on how women revive or empower our souls.

This is a tricky one.

This answer will be different for each woman
who reads this.

All I can do is answer this for me.

In my life I have found that these are the things
that work for me when it comes to being filled up:

spending time with God

keeping my inner circle of friends those
who are strong and continually raise my bar


listening to GREAT music

walking in nature


accomplishing tasks through hard work and determination
(this can be anything from refinishing a piece of furniture,
learning a new skill or making a financial goal)

giving my time, talent or resources


We women need to stick together on this.
We are constantly empowering our neighbors and we may not even know it.

Let's share ways in which we can do this for each other.

Feel free to share how you do this for others or for yourself.
As always, thanks for visiting...

Would love to hear how YOU are get revived, refilled, and empowered.

how to make a family strong

One easy solution to uniting your family and making strong connections

Eat...

Yes, that's right.
How to make a family strong?
eat together, daily
No TV's
No answering phones
No texting
Nothing but each other and the meal in front of you

Whether it is breakfast or dinner or something in between
make it happen.

In our busy lives
with taxi-like habits toting kids from one practice to the next

it is essential to ground them with a meal, any meal
together daily!

One way I open my family up for discussion at the table is asking
"what was the best part of your day"

This simple question usually stirs up more detail than the usual
"how was your day?"

The kids now expect this question..

So much so, they now have been known to withhold information after school
waiting for dinner table talk, so the whole family can discuss the days juice.

You'll notice all my flickr photos are of round tables.
Love the round table
No one is on the "end"
Everyone faces one another
great for table talk

Would love to hear YOUR ideas on how you
stay connected

As always, thanks for visiting...

Favorite Freebie...Being Gracious

This is one I'm constantly working on

BE GRACIOUS...DAILY

I have realized at my 40 plus years,
to live this
you will be rewarded many times over.

Here is what I know brings happiness:

1. Be slow to take credit...
quick to give praise
(who doesn't love the humble achiever?)

2. Thank those in your life, often.
(This is true for the grocery clerk or for your most loved ones,
put it in writing and it is even more home hitting)

3. Being gracious does not monopolize conversation.
(It's always nice to hear what others have to offer)

4. Pay attention to people
(People like to be "heard". It makes them feel important)

5. Be mindful of what comes out of your mouth...
(Think before you speak...I work on this daily and fail often)

6. Point out the good
(Even with the most difficult chapters in life, you can always find the good )


7. Have Positive Energy
(be the person people enjoy being around)


I pray to be this person daily.

I don't always succeed.

How are YOU GRACIOUS in your life?
Would love to hear how you do this...

As always, thanks for visiting.

*for more on tips on being a gracious person try this link

Favorite Freebie...Love Your Moms

Love your mom.
Plain and simple.
Show your kids how to do this.

There are so many returns on this, I can't even begin.

It is free.
You will get back a million times what you put in...and then some.

This is MY beautiful mom
(Not bad for a senior citizen, eh?)

This is my mom with my family on our family trip to the happiest place on earth.
It wouldn't be the same without her to enjoy it with.
(Okay, maybe everyone doesn't take their moms with them on family vacations.
That's okay,too.)

I love my mom and try to show my kids that respect of a parent.
I'm lucky...I get that back a kazillion times over.
I already feel the tradition has caught on.
My kids take great care of me
(even when I embarrass them in front of their friends).

I am so lucky to have been blessed with the most positive, caring, loving
and well meaning mother in the world.

Here are some ways (another list) we show our love to grandma:

I call her every day

I cook her meals to thank her for all the meals she has made me

I am honest with her
(even when it might not be pretty)

I tell her I love her each opportunity I get

I say sorry when I should

I hold her hand

I respect her privacy

I send Facebook messages to her
(yes, she is my FB friend)

I play scrabble with her

I try to be a bragger not a nagger

I pray with her

I thank my mom for who she is



I not only love my mom, but I like her.

She let's me know every single day
she believes in me and is my biggest fan.

I want to be that kind of mom to my own children.

Love.
It is free.
It comes back to you.

It may be easier at times than others, but it is still a good thing.

Love your mom.

Please share with me the ways YOU show your family how you love YOUR mom.

(I love this stuff...)

Everyday...my unspoken list

We all have our routine.
We do things daily...without fail.

We don't even think about these things...we just do them.


Here is a LIST of things
I find myself doing day in and day out:


...I thank God for my life

...I tell my husband I love him

...I squeeze my children with all my might

...I drink a cup of coffee in the morning

...I make sure I shower

...I smoosh my dog while he is trying to rest

...I talk to my sister-in-law in Seattle
(*multiple times a day, actually)

...I check my Facebook page

...I visit the dishwasher

...I listen to music

...I read a handwritten letter from my husband waiting for me each morning

...I waste valuable time on the computer

...I make my bed and stack my pillows...all 6 of them

...I call my sweet mom

...I check my bank balances

... I think of my friends and family back home in SD

...I take a nap

...I read my book before my nap

...I say my prayers after I shut off the light

...I brush, floss and swish

...I check my agenda, then I check it again

...I wipe and rewipe all counter tops in the kitchen

...I check my email

...I read the newspaper

...I go for a run

...I watch Access Hollywood on my DVR with my three daughters

...I add a new tidbit to this blog

...I divvy out chores to the minors living in my home

...I shuffle my to-do list

...I thank God for the life he gave me and the people in it.



What is something you do day in and day out?

Comfort Food and Competition

Remember that sunny snow covered porch I posted not too long ago? I was bragging about the beauty, the sun, the sight...well not any more. This is windy, cold and snowy weather. Day after snow day the girls are cooped up stuck behind a keyboard or LCD screen.

Well Mommy had to bring out the big guns...

Apple Vichyssoise Soup
(Pretty much apple, potato, leek soup...
simply delicious)
I got this recipe from a Real Simple Magazine
and have been making it for years.
The girls still love it...

Steamed Broccoli with garlic-basil mayo
(love hiding those Omega 3's into yummy meals)

A Brookes family favorite
Roasted Paprika Chicken
From Everyday Food Magazine

Mashed Potatoes
(I am still trying to perfect my mother's recipe...
one of the many things she is great at)

Tatum's new title of sous chef...
especially when it comes to peeling potatoes.

Another one of Mommy's helpers in the kitchen

Not a whole lot left over...bummer.

Now onto the competition...
Any Quelf lover's out there?
If you haven't already been turned on to this fabulous
family game...put your seat belts on. It's a crazy ride.

Tatum, while wearing a bike helmet, reads her next action card
(yes, she had to wear that most of the game)

Daddy trying to do the splits...
you guessed it, another action card.

Tess reads her card...I think she had to lick her elbow on that one.

Yes, that is the exciting life we lead behind these veils of snow and blizzards abound.

Call me crazy but I eat this stuff up
(pardon the pun)...

What do you do when stuck indoors for days on end?