birthday traditions:

 43

grateful for 

my faith

my family

my friends

my health

my life

am lucky enough to have

gotten

 treated to a 

delightful lunch

shared a prosecco with a lovely twist of lemon

finished off with a maple creme brulee

have i mentioned how lucky i am?

well i am.

one

birthday tradition 

we celebrate in the brookes abode:

 we gather around the dinner table

one by one we go around that table and

share one thing we love about the birthday honoree.

and no repeats allowed...

can you say filled up?

well, you definitely get that way

after you sit  and listen to your family 

share good thing about you.

tell me about a birthday tradition

you have in your house...

heading off to count my blessings

Best Part of the Day

Okay,

back to
project teenager

Here is another
Team Brookes
Strategy
we use to combat
teenage-itis


Best Part of the Day

This is a little ditty
we started many
dinners ago.

When the girls go through the
ups and downs of,
let's see,
being girls.

We gather together as a family
at our beloved
dinner table.

We go around the table,
starting with the coveted
Daughter of the Week
(See how this system works, here)

We ask the simple question:

"What was your best part of the day?"

DOW gets first dibs to share
and everyone's attention.

She is the first to take the floor.

We listen.
Comment.
Laugh.
Relate.

Team Brookes in the making.

NO MATTER HOW BAD ANYONE'S DAY IS...
EVERYONE CAN THINK OF A BEST PART.

(This is mom's way of secretly trying to
highlight the positive...
while letting mom and dad get a sneak peek
into the girls day)

This is something
we do nightly
at dinner
together.

We started this when the girls were
itty.

You should, too.
It's a good habit that the kids are used to,
so when they hit teen-dome,
they won't balk at mom's corny idea.

I know.
It's dorky.
But we are dorky.

Who couldn't use a little feel good
chit chat with the fam?

Gotta keep connected as they
grow older,
and more fiesty.

How do YOU stay connected with your kids
in the crazy world we live in?

Would love to know.

Tweens, Teens and Screens

Went to a recent PTA meeting at the middle school. Little did I realize
I would be turning that meeting into a blog post.

The meeting talked to parents about the ever changing land of technology
and the role our kids (and us) play in that land.

Kids primary way of connecting is through technology.

Here are some statistics:

84% have internet access at home
66% have a cell phone
70% have a TV in their bedroom
29% Have a laptop


Kids between the age of 8-18 years of age spend up to
53 hours a week in
front of some type of screen
(computer, cell phone, tv, hand held game, game console, ipad)

That's as much as 7 hours a day...
add texting and it's as much as 10 hours a day


I thought I'd share the nuggets I personally got out of the meeting:

1. As parents, it's better to provide guidelines, limits and consequences
rather than lay down the hammer with rules regarding technology.
In fact, having a family meeting and deciding together is the most effective
way of ensuring all will actually follow those guidelines.

2. Kids NEED direction and limits up front...despite what you may think,
parents remain the greatest influence in your teen's life...
use that influence in a positive way.

3. Make sure your computer is centrally located and not behind walls or doors,
especially in bedrooms.

4. When it comes to your kids having a social network account,
make sure you are a FRIEND of your kids and you know their password.

5. Warn your kids of posting personal information online
(phone numbers and addresses)


6. When the appropriate age, NOT letting your teen have a FB account
could have a negative effect socially.
Technology isn't going anywhere. Walk into the light...

7. Be proud of turning off electronics during dinner
and perhaps even 30 minutes before bedtime.

8. Inform your kids to "expect" any parent to read what they are writing on Facebook.

9. Don't accept a "friend" you do not personally know.
Define the word know and friend.

10. Be knowledgeable and conservative with privacy settings.

11. Create a family SOS text for your teenager when they need help.
"I lost my contact" means come get me...no questions asked.
Respect that.

12. Continually educate yourself with the technology your kids use:
visit their favorite websites regularly.


Navigating through the world of technology can be a very scary thing,
even for adults.

It's our job to walk our teenagers through this uncharted territory
with character, caution and good decision.

Here are some additional resources available to help:
Web Filters
http://internet-filter-review.toptenreviews.com/
Websites
CommonsenseMedia.org
(Check game and movie ratings for age appropriate media)
NetSmartz.org
National Center for Missing & Exploited children
http://www.safekids.com/
Online Safety & civility
getNetWise.org
http://robinraskin.com/
raising digital kids
http://www.whattheyplay.com/
family guide to video games

Publications
Cyber Bullying: Bullying in the Digital Age
The Plug-In Drug
Negotiation Generation

This is serious stuff.
I got a lot out of that meeting.
Came home, sat down with my girls and
discussed much of what is in this blog post.

Hopefully we all think of these things as we watch our kids spend
hours in front of monitors and screens.

Let me know if you have further tips on
how you monitor technology in your home
and if you have found this post useful.

As always, thanks for visiting.

how to make a family strong

One easy solution to uniting your family and making strong connections

Eat...

Yes, that's right.
How to make a family strong?
eat together, daily
No TV's
No answering phones
No texting
Nothing but each other and the meal in front of you

Whether it is breakfast or dinner or something in between
make it happen.

In our busy lives
with taxi-like habits toting kids from one practice to the next

it is essential to ground them with a meal, any meal
together daily!

One way I open my family up for discussion at the table is asking
"what was the best part of your day"

This simple question usually stirs up more detail than the usual
"how was your day?"

The kids now expect this question..

So much so, they now have been known to withhold information after school
waiting for dinner table talk, so the whole family can discuss the days juice.

You'll notice all my flickr photos are of round tables.
Love the round table
No one is on the "end"
Everyone faces one another
great for table talk

Would love to hear YOUR ideas on how you
stay connected

As always, thanks for visiting...

Favorite Freebie...Being Gracious

This is one I'm constantly working on

BE GRACIOUS...DAILY

I have realized at my 40 plus years,
to live this
you will be rewarded many times over.

Here is what I know brings happiness:

1. Be slow to take credit...
quick to give praise
(who doesn't love the humble achiever?)

2. Thank those in your life, often.
(This is true for the grocery clerk or for your most loved ones,
put it in writing and it is even more home hitting)

3. Being gracious does not monopolize conversation.
(It's always nice to hear what others have to offer)

4. Pay attention to people
(People like to be "heard". It makes them feel important)

5. Be mindful of what comes out of your mouth...
(Think before you speak...I work on this daily and fail often)

6. Point out the good
(Even with the most difficult chapters in life, you can always find the good )


7. Have Positive Energy
(be the person people enjoy being around)


I pray to be this person daily.

I don't always succeed.

How are YOU GRACIOUS in your life?
Would love to hear how you do this...

As always, thanks for visiting.

*for more on tips on being a gracious person try this link

Favorite Freebie...Love Your Moms

Love your mom.
Plain and simple.
Show your kids how to do this.

There are so many returns on this, I can't even begin.

It is free.
You will get back a million times what you put in...and then some.

This is MY beautiful mom
(Not bad for a senior citizen, eh?)

This is my mom with my family on our family trip to the happiest place on earth.
It wouldn't be the same without her to enjoy it with.
(Okay, maybe everyone doesn't take their moms with them on family vacations.
That's okay,too.)

I love my mom and try to show my kids that respect of a parent.
I'm lucky...I get that back a kazillion times over.
I already feel the tradition has caught on.
My kids take great care of me
(even when I embarrass them in front of their friends).

I am so lucky to have been blessed with the most positive, caring, loving
and well meaning mother in the world.

Here are some ways (another list) we show our love to grandma:

I call her every day

I cook her meals to thank her for all the meals she has made me

I am honest with her
(even when it might not be pretty)

I tell her I love her each opportunity I get

I say sorry when I should

I hold her hand

I respect her privacy

I send Facebook messages to her
(yes, she is my FB friend)

I play scrabble with her

I try to be a bragger not a nagger

I pray with her

I thank my mom for who she is



I not only love my mom, but I like her.

She let's me know every single day
she believes in me and is my biggest fan.

I want to be that kind of mom to my own children.

Love.
It is free.
It comes back to you.

It may be easier at times than others, but it is still a good thing.

Love your mom.

Please share with me the ways YOU show your family how you love YOUR mom.

(I love this stuff...)

Favorite Freebie: Daughter of the Week

Many of you who know me,

already know my tricks of the trade 

when it comes to home management.

 






One of those tricks is
Daughter of the Week.

it's easy
it's free
it works

This is the greatest invention since sliced bread.
You will solve most all of the worlds problems,
simply by

Daughter of the Week...
okay, Kid of the Week

(if you actually have sons...I don't, hence the "daughter" reference).
Feel free to coin whatever term you want and make it your own.

Initially we started Daughter of the Day,
however, Mommy couldn't keep track of what the rotation was.
This lead us to revise our plan to Daughter of the Week.
We decided as a group who to start with
(I think we chose the daughter who needed a boost in confidence that day and a few extra rewards)
then we rotated from there.
Easy. 1,2,3...if you didn't lose your privilege...
that was the order.

We began this fine tradition a million years ago,
when my darling daughters would argue
over who gets the bowl with the biggest ice cream scoop in it,
who gets to sit in which car seat on the way to the store,
who gets to pick the video before bedtime (yes, I said video, not DVD).
I did say a million years ago...

The girls would argue over every minute detail
at every juncture of the day (
at least it seemed that way to me).
With three daughters so very close in age I needed a remedy and fast.

My solution...
Daughter of the Week.

Here are the rules we try to follow...

1. This honor is a privilege earned not given.
Yes, being ugly to any member of your family
can get you demoted which is when your sister
get's DOW instead of you.
Oh, the nerve.

I think we've only relinquished it once due to loss of privilege...
that was all it took.

2. When in doubt,
DOW gets to make all final kid decisions
(video pick of the day,
first pick of the dessert being served,
which seat she wants to recline in the car...
and the clincher...
which chore she wants to do out of any three given...
see rule #3).

3. First Chore Chooser:
Hubs runs a tight ship around here
(pardon the pun, as he is a Naval Officer).
We like the house tidy,
while instilling a strong work ethic around here.
We believe in daily chores
(bed made each morning,
tidy up room before the end of the day, etc).
But one thing DOW gets to take full
advantage of are the daily kitchen duties.
We usually divide all household chores
into divisions of three,
for obvious reasons.

For example: dishwasher division:
top rack,
bottom rack
and finally silverware tray.

You will see DOW meander over and leisurely
pick which section of the dishwasher she will put away.
She knows she holds the power of first choice.
Of course she bases her decision on
which section has the least amount of dishes to actually put away.
This all done while my other two daughters
wait on bated breath to pick in succession
(as now we have a second Daughter of the week getting second pick,
and third Daughter of the week with the final pick).
And let me tell you, they know the order and keep track!

We do this same concept
with the duties surrounding dinner:

1. set table

2. clear table (after dinner),
stack dishes and wipe counters

3. load dishwasher
and wash pots/pans.

Can you guess which DOW chooses for the week?
You got it...set.
It is the coveted task,
the grand daddy and the ultimate "easy" chore.
This is another privilege of DOW.

Again, a win win.

Another perk of being DOW,
is getting in the coveted Mommy-Daddy
sandwich for our nightly TV time in bed.
This is something we call
BIG BED

This happens nightly, like clockwork.

our family down time before lights out
 This usually lasts at least one
 half-hour show

DOW gets to pick the show.
 
Oh, the joys of being DOW.

This way of creating house harmony works for us.
DOW has many privileges integrated into its conception.
Discover how this can work in your home, too.
It's a great way to stop unnecessary arguments
and who doesn't love to be Daughter of the Week...
Brookes Style.

Who's your daughter of the week?